Difference towards friendship
There’s no doubt that Chinese and Americans make friends in different ways. In China, people are less likely to take the initiative to chat with others until they met several times. Yet, Americans are more open and enthusiastic. Instead of listening to music and playing with their phones quietly, people prefer communicating with different people about majors, clubs, and sports. What made me surprised was that a boy I never met before came to have a 2-hour communication with me when I was reading articles for the class the next day in the lobby. He was so enthusiastic that I did not want to disturb him. Additionally, it is common to hear people greet others everywhere.
Nonetheless, maintaining a friendship is challenging. As Nathan (2005a) points out in the article “Relationships and Friendships”, that “It is easy to get to know people, but the friendship is superficial.” Although people love having parties, working out, or attending club activities together, they rarely attempt making their friendship become a crucial part of their lives. Instead of assisting each other by actions, they tend to provide encouragement by words. However, Chinese consider friendship as a lifetime treasure. They enjoy gluing to each other. They may go shopping, seeing films, or even going to the restroom together. Even though I study abroad, I still keep in touch with my best friend in high school every day. We are accustomed to sharing every single matter. As a result, happiness will double, and grief will be halved. Despite the fact that we are distant from one another, we are as close as before.
Difference towards privacy
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Based on different attitudes and values about friendship discussed above, it seems that American more does not care much. But when it comes to privacy, it breaks the traditional thinking. In China, it is common to ask others’ ages. If a person is being told that he looks younger than his actual age, he would consider it as a kind of praise. Besides, “old” is regarded as a symbol of experience and wisdom. Notwithstanding, Americans take the opposite view. In the article “Different attitude towards privacy between Chinese and the West”, Lucy points out the main reason—the fiercely competitive society. Thus, to most Americans, old age implies retirement from the stage of social competition. For women, “old” is the symbol of less charm.
By the same token, Americans do not like to talk about salary. In the United States, incomes stand for one’s ability. In order not to lose their dignity, low-income people are not willing to talk about it. For the rich, they regarded it as property security. On the contrary, people in China like to ask other’s salaries, especially those who get their first job after graduation. It is a way to express their concerns.
What should not be ignored is the sense of space privacy in America. At the pre-departure orientation, one of the professors points out that beauty comes from distance. Though it is a private conversation, people prefer to keep distant from each other. Moreover, some signs show that Americans are sensitive to privacy. For instance, they will close the door to avoid being disturbed. Otherwise, they will keep the door open to show an invitation. Without permission, it is illegal to enter other’s houses. Instead, due to historical reasons, the Chinese tend to share geographical space to keep in contact with others. Especially in the countryside, people can get into other’s house without permission, which is considered as a way to show a close relationship.